To Not Forget the Figs and Friends

A little over two years ago I was busy memorizing every sight, smell and feeling I experienced on a daily basis. We were about to leave to a faraway place and I didn't want to forget anything. I was creating a memory bank of everything I'd miss. At the time it felt like I'd never see or feel those things again, like I was never going to come back. Of course, it was for only two years and here we are, on the verge of return. And now, for real this time, there's a good chance that I'm not coming back.

Preparing to leave Azerbaijan feels very different than preparing to leave America. And it should; I'm different. There is a lot to process looking back over the experience and preparing to re-enter my own country without too many expectations. So now is the time to put into good use what I've been working on for the last two years-living in the moment and really memorizing the feelings.

Like when we went over to the Məlikov's house. We learned a lot of cool stuff that day. Araz makes wine and liquor at home and had just bought over 100 kilos of grapes (it's grape season) to process. We asked if we could watch and he said come on over. We got to see how the grapes get squished, ferment and then sit in bottles. Araz lets his wine age for about three years.
Then we did a tasting. Araz also has a still that he welded himself. He makes araq (vodka/liquor) with grapes, honey, mint and other things I forgot. It's always strong but you'll never get sick from it. Araz says that this is a sign of its quality.

While Qətibə was preparing dinner, Araz called "Who wants to do some work?!" "Oohh! Me! Me!" Mathias, Nijat and I threw our hands in the air (actually, maybe Nicat rolled his eyes). We were each handed a small glass full of water and headed to the back yard. Araz showed us how to break off the little baby figs and collect the sap/milk that came out of the stems in our glasses:
Then Qətibə used 1/6th of what we collected on the meat (but everyone got to feel like good helpers!). She is the best cook in the world by the way. When Qətibə is feeding you there will be a main dish and a minimum of three sides. For dinner we had little tenderized beef medallions, fried potatoes, pickled eggplant, salsa-like tomato sauce, pepper tomato salad, salt-preserved fish and home made bread. Yummm!! She is also the only person I've met here who actually asks for and writes down our recipes for things like corn bread when she likes what we've made.
We talk and tell jokes and drink tea. The family always makes us feel normal. I know that sometimes we must be difficult to understand or make a lot of mistakes when we speak but I never feel that way when we're talking to them. They are patient and willing to search for words to get a point across instead of giving up and moving on. Araz and Qətibə have been like our parents over the last two years. When we needed a new house they helped us find it and negotiate prices. When our water pumps broke at two houses in a row, Araz fixed both of them for free. When I apologized he said we just didn't know how to fix it because we're still young (not because we're dumb Americans!) They take us on trips out to the village or the mountains. If I get sick, Qətibə calls to make sure that I'm ok and sends over a jar of zoğal mürəbbəsi (a high-vitamin jam) to speed my recovery. They have loved us for who we are. Even if we are different. Even if we don't always do everything right. Even when it was probably more convenient not to invite or help us. They did.

People have been asking me what I would have done differently or if I have any regrets about the last two years. And I don't have an answer for that yet. But one thing I would not change for the world was the opportunity to be adopted by this incredible, fantastic family.

Here There and Everywhere

Yesterday my neighbor stopped me as I ran out to the grocery store. "You are always coming and going, I never see you!" she scolded. It occurred to me that you might also feel the same way.
It's been hard to write because the summer is for traveling and on the road I often don't have Internet access. And what have I been doing you might ask? Camps! With school out and nothing for kids to do, volunteers organize day camps in their towns and invite other volunteers to help run them. It's a fun way to introduce American culture and give the kids something to do. On the exchange side, it allows volunteers to see different parts of the country and Azerbaijani's to meet a more diverse group of Americans than just their own PCV's. So here's where I've been:

Agjabedi Sports Camp-Highlights included playing Frisbee and egg toss!

Zagatala Art Camp-Löki's fully-funded brainchild involved a training of trainers where Americans worked as support staff for Azerbaijani counterparts who were learning how to lead and run their own camp. And I learned how to screen print!

Activity Week in Shamaxi-I took a week to make sure my kids had something to do. Not brave enough to call it a camp, the students and I spent two hours every day doing such things as acting, collage pasting and volcano building. In the afternoon I had a laid-back conversation club with ladies my own age who want to practice their English.

ABLE-Mathias took four of our boys this year to ABLE, the prestigious, well-funded, PCV led boys leadership camp. This one actually is overnight for a week and the boys meet other outstanding students from other regions.

COS Conference-Not a camp but our "Close of Service" conference where we learn thrilling things like: how to apply for post-pc health insurance and fill out lots of official paperwork. There was also reflection on the last to years and some thoughts about the future-we're going to have to get jobs! Highlights include waterslides as conference was at a waterpark/hotel.

Bilasuvar Camp-Mostly indoor activities now that Ramazan has begun. Highlights included playing "ninja" and making picture frames.

Tomorrow I'm leaving for yet another town I've never been to and then soon after I'm going to be doing WWOOF in Georgia in an attempt to use up my vacation days. I look forward to lots of time to think there so hopefully there will be some good thoughtful posts when I get back!
~Emma

Parasites Detection Kit: Not as Cool as it Sounds

Another milestone in our service! We have now been here long enough to participate in mandatory checks for parasites. This involves depositing one's own stool samples in tiny pre-treated vials with the tiny plastic spoon provided. Not once, not twice, but three times. This is maybe one of the most unpleasant things I've done in a while and I'm just bragging that I got it done...

...And then I was thinking of that person in a lab somewhere in D.C. processing the samples of every PCV in the world. That's the true patriot!

Ice Skating in Heels

It finally came, the first real snow of the winter. Everyone in town seems elated. For weeks students have been telling me that it wasn't really winter because it hadn't snowed (this time last year we'd already endured multiple snow storms). And along with the snow comes adventure and the chance for lots of anthropological study.

First of all, our pipes froze. Luckily we live not far from the bulaq, or spring. We need one bucket to make the toilet flush, the kettle for drinking water, and the jug for washing dishes. I feel like a pioneer girl!

Walking to school is is like walking across an ice rink that just finished hosting 30 second grade birthday parties. I remember last year shaking my head and thinking "They really must not have any lawsuits in this country." There are no salt trucks, no snowplows or shovels. Mathias' ten minute commute becomes thirty. My twenty-five minute commute becomes an hour. It's especially hard because even if the weather changes, the culturally acceptable footwear does not and we are forced to do this in dress shoes and heels. I'm only mildly afraid of hurting myself when I fall. My true fear of falling is because its very embarrassing. Especially because no one else is falling. REALLY. Over two days I fell twice, Mathias said he fell a couple of times, and out of all the people I saw all over town I only saw only ONE Azerbaijani fall down. I reason with myself-in America we have sidewalks that get shovelled, the roads get salted, and I'm from Georgia for goodness sakes! And everyone else in town has been doing this their entire life. I recently read an article about how its actually better to run barefoot, but that people who have been running in shoes forever can't go back. Is this an example of how we become slaves to our technology?

The great thing about the snow was how happy it made everybody. You could just feel it. People were smiling and watching kids sled down the street. Yes, the street, with cars and everything. Apparently I was the only person concerned as fifth grade boys tore down the ice slick (or road) in front of their school, speeding through intersections without a second thought. The sleds have square wooden seats on runners made of pipes. Because of this, they don't steer and in fact I saw more than one kid spinning as they went down. And of course, thoughtful as people here are about bums not getting cold, many of them are outfitted with pillows to sit on. I even saw a very fancy crocheted one! I thought to myself, since I didn't see any girls sledding at all, that maybe that's what the girls get to do. The boys ride, the girls make seat covers. This thought was a little presumptive though as I did see one girl the next day sledding on a side street with her family.

So I'm enjoying the snow as long as I don't break anything on the ice. Don't worry too much, my students have taken to holding my hand and walking me home!

Hippy Skills: Canning

One of the things I was hoping to accomplish while living in Azerbaijan was learning how to can. I prepared over a year ago in America by taking the fabulous Preserving Food at Home Self Study out of the University of Georgia. The only thing that really threw me was that all American information, or all canning information on the web for that matter, assumes you are using ball jars with their fabulous sticky tops and screw lids. People here don't use ball jars, they use these:Notice the implement in the back with the round part and the handle. With these jars, the lids don't actually stick or pop during the boiling process, they are crimped on afterward by hand. After many panicky questions to neighbors and our medical officers I figured if no one else was freaked out, neither would I be (This works for the lack of a lot of things: Lysol, baby gates, toilet paper...). I'm happy to say we've had no ill effects.

So far I've canned 8 quarts of tomato sauce, 4 quarts peaches, 2 jars of Quince preserves, and 4 jars of applesauce.

Canning makes a lot of sense when you can only buy produce in season and its great if you are Scottish. Why Scottish? Example: my peaches cost roughly 1.75 manat to produce while the same amount canned at the store cost 4 manat. Right now apples are 1 Manat for 3 Kilos (roughly $1.20 for 6 pounds!) and won't be easy to find in the summer. Yes, I can feel the approval of the Campbells now!

And its not as hard as you think. Take applesauce:
First peel and core and slice. Put peelings in your compost bin to become worm and plant food and put apple bits in a pan with a quarter to a half inch of water.

Cook apples, stirring and mushing with your spoon until it looks like applesauce.

Then put the applesauce and process in a water bath canner. Mine will look different than yours because I'm using these weird Azeri/Russian Jars. If you've got ball jars, you're done! If you are using what we've got you use your handy crimper thing, spinning the handle around and around the lid, tightening it every round. Check to see that it sealed and you're done!

Not gonna lie, I feel much more satisfied at the end of this than I ever was at the end of "CSI: Miami" (But that might be David Caruso's fault).

Facing our Food

Last weekend we hosted a gathering of Peace Corps guys at our house. They were meeting to work on the plans for ABLE (Azerbaijani Boys Leadership Experience) Camp next summer. For one of our meals we decided to buy two chickens and prepare them ourselves. Each person had their own reasons for wanting to be involved. For my part, I would like to keep chickens one day and saw this as a prerequisite test.

A word of caution: The following video contains footage of the killing, plucking, and gutting of chickens. Chickens were harmed in the making of this film. If it makes you feel better, they were also eaten with a delicious gravy

One Year Later: How far I've Come

Then

I can genuinely say I am really happy to be here.

The Peace Corps has this phrase they use in their advertising "The Hardest Job you'll ever Love" which until recently I viewed as a total crock. But cheesy as it is, I'm starting to get there.
I just got back from a hotel on the side of the highway where a whole slew of brand spankin' new Americans were being bombarded with information their first few days in country. First of all I want to say it was an honor to be there. And to those of you AZ7's who may read this blog, you guys are great and I can't wait until we are fellow PCV's.

The truth is, in terms of what they are about to go through, I would never want to do that again. The first nine months here were painfully hard. But I can also say that am so glad I stuck through it.

And here I come to another Peace Corps cliche. That while I have no idea if I'm making a difference in my community, this experience is certainly changing me.
I'm finally over hating things I can't change. I've stopped comparing myself to others or always worrying about the day that someone else is going to decide I'm not good enough. I'm remembering where my true identity lies. In the words of a fellow AZ6 "I've grown the backbone I never knew I didn't have."

I've let go idealizing the United States. Let go of a lifestyle that judges worth by how many unscheduled seconds were crowded out with activity.

And because I've let go of so much, I can now see all of those things I've been blind to. The really polite and thoughtful Azeri men. The truly hospitable friends and neighbors. The smart and talented people who are pushing the envelope. That there is nothing wrong with sitting under a fruit tree drinking tea and just talking on a summer day. Oh yeah, and the new factory the government just renovated and those lovely new highway signs.

A couple days ago I got the last seat on a markrutka-the very last row in between two dudes and a grandmother. There was a woman in front of me who started making fun of the fact that I was foreign. I quickly responded to her that I speak Azeri. She then peppered me with a machine gun fire of questions that would have left me sobbing and confused nine months ago but that I deftly answered as if I was swatting away flies. The woman then for an inexplicable reason decided to revert to the age of seven and take advantage of what I had told her, taunting me in Russian because I said I didn't speak it. And if this had been a year ago, I would have been defeated. And this story would have ended there, with me crying and hating what I took to be "azeri culture." But this isn't a year ago. This is now. And I didn't start crying. And instead of fearfully ignoring the men beside me who were trying to get my attention, I turned my head to them. They were silently making "she's crazy!" hand motions and pointing to the woman while simultaneously offering me a bite of sandwich. And a year ago I would have thought that when the man beside me started talking and joking with the woman that they were probably friends making fun of me when in reality he was chastising her for her rude behavior. The truth is, everyone else was really nice and maybe a little embarrassed. The guy next to me, after trying earnestly to get me to accept Fanta and sandwich, finally got me to take a pack of gum. That's true Azeri culture. And that woman is no different from the people I saw in a McDonald's in Belleville Illinois taunting a man who didn't speak English.

School didn't go super great today. I was expecting twenty kids and only seven showed up. There are probably worse days than that to come. And sure, my life looks a lot like that teacher from Glee if he didn't also have Spanish. I will be afraid sometimes but I will not let that stop me. And disappointed probably even more times. I will probably never know the impact I might have. But it's about the process, and I accept that now.

Now

Bored Out of My Mind...

Emma is welcoming the newest group of Peace Corps Volunteers to Azerbaijan. The host family is at their home in Baku. I am bored out of my mind. Everyone has been gone since Thursday, October 1st so I have been occupying my time with various, time killing, pursuits.

First, on Thursday I started working on a cat house for our two adopted cats. Baby Cat, who turned up in late June, has been featured before. She is lovable, considerate and can take care of herself. Precocious Kitty, or PK, turned up in late August. She is whiny, mischievous and won't leave me alone. Either way, they have adopted us as surrogate parents and we in return have given them a US postal box in which to sleep. The problem is Samaxi is getting pretty cold and the box isn't going to do much good come November. Thus, with the wood left over from my Ping Pong table (scroll down) I fashioned them a home.

Here is the house.

Nothing fancy just wood and nails. It does serve it's purpose and that is what matters.

Baby Cat is on the left and PK is whining on the right.

Okay so Thursday and Friday were fine. It did take a while to put the cat house together as my hand saw is from 1960, rusted and I am pretty sure soviet built (burn). Still, the process of working everything out was fun.

Today however, I slept in, fried some chicken, then went 'Forrest Forrest Gump' all over the afternoon. The following pictures and videos should help explain how very unproductive today really was.

The ping pong table when more than one person is at the house.

The ping pong table when I am home alone. I used our grill to prop up the other side.

For the table I took two 5 by 5 pieces of plywood and trimmed them down to 5 by 4.5. I connected them with hinges so that I can fold up the table top and move it if we need to. The host family loves it, doesn't want me to move it, so there it sits. However, the hinges also help it become a one man ping pong court. The videos that follow show you what joy it brought me. If you have a slow connection don't wait for them to download. I am warning you now, what brings me joy is probably not what brings you joy. I must have done this for at least two hours... Sad really. very sad, ha ha.

Later.

Mathias

Epicurious

One thing that defines Peace Corps life for me that I did not expect was how much we cook! We cook from scratch everyday. We also cook in-season. It's fun, and we really don't have much of a choice. Especially in our town there are few restaurants and no "convenience foods". Cook long enough and you start feeling pretty confident. And then you start cooking things you would never attempt in the States. Like Doughnuts!!

Yes, This morning Mathias made doughnuts. And they were honestly awesome. He also recently made chips by frying lavaş. After these two successes I noticed today after he went to the store that our kitchen is now stocked with an inordinate amount of cooking oil.

We make healthy things too. For dinner we made pizzas. I was especially proud of my "Garden Party" Pizza because every topping (Tomato, Onion, Garlic, Green Beans, Peppers, and Eggplant) was grown in our garden!! Mathias made Mexican BBQ Pizza.

Other foods we've learned to make from scratch include: Biscuits, Crumb Cake, Meat-Grinder Gazpacho, Curry dishes, Chicken and Beef Stock, Refried Beans, and Tomato Sauce.

It's been really great. So if any of you AZ7's out there are reading this, don't forget to pack your spices and measuring cups!

Laundry Time!

As you might have guessed, doing laundry here is not the same as in America. Some people do have washing machines or agitator machines, but we are not among them. So we wash everything by hand. Here's how it works:

Light the gas in the water heater about three hours ahead of time. Add some wood to help the heating process. Note: when we first got here a lot of us were perplexed-wouldn't it be a lot more energy-efficient to keep the water heater on all the time? It would be if we used hot water every day like in America, but gas and water are just too expensive. We heat the water about once a week for laundry and a shower.
Next put laundry detergent in a bucket and fill with water, swishing to get it really foamy. Then dump in clothes and swirl, punch, and agitate by hand. Then let it sit for about 20 minutes. After that I go through each piece one by one looking for stains and scrub them out by rubbing the fabric together vigorously (this is what gives you callouses!)

Then wring as much soap out as possible and throw the item in another bucket. Next comes rinsing. I like to dump everything into the bucket full of clean water and swish a lot, then rinse each item until there are no more bubbles in the rinse water.

Lastly everything goes out on the clothesline to dry.
Here's our line this week before I finished the whites and reds. How long does it take to dry? Well, depends on the weather. The purples dried in an hour because it was really windy at the time but then the rest of it took two days because its been gray. We had to run out at get it all this morning because it started to sleet/rain/snow!

The thing I hadn't expected about all this is how much I enjoy it. Back home I hated doing laundry-its the chore you're always doing that never gets done! I think it might be because it too easy. I can't explain how great it feels after three hours and some aching muscles to stand and look at the clothes flapping in the breeze. To me its the combination of physical labor, focus, quietness, and good ol' hard work that brings an unrivaled sense of accomplishment.

Photos 2

This is our new yard covered with snow. The "covered" walkway connects our house (on the left) to the other homes. One is located directly behind and the other to the right. Straight ahead is just a wall that encloses the yard. Most homes in Azerbaijan have large stone walls that surround their yards and subsequently a gate that acts as a "Front Door" for all visitors. Homes rarely open onto the street.

This is a rug shop in Baku's "Old City".

This is a view looking back from the wall displayed in the snowy picture. I took this photo in November when we visited Şamaxı for the first time.

This is a mosque located in Baku.

This is Jon, one of my very best friends in Azerbaijan, and me, after playing soccer on the beach in Sumqayit. A small group of PC trainees would play soccer every Sunday, but Jon won the coin toss so he got to sit on my shoulders. The Caspian Sea is behind us. I know what you are thinking. This photo is pretty impressive... but what was really impressive was the double back flip Jon did off my shoulders. Man is talented.

Due to a lack of gas, our 1st host family relies (literally) on truck loads of wood during the winter. This photo was taken soon after all of the wood was removed from the truck. Btb, The truck arrived around 10:30pm and it took about 45 minutes to remove everything. Partially due to the degree of danger associated with standing on, and moving, a pile of wood laden with nails/tacks and partially due to the fact it was more like a game of dodge the wood, then safely stack the wood... No one was hurt and following the fun, tea was had by all! The photo is of Me, my host brother, host cousin and their friends.

This is our Host Family in Saray! R-L: Father, Youngest Brother, Me, Host Sister, Host Mom, Emma and Oldest Host Brother. They are an amazing family and we were so blessed to have been placed at their home. This photo was taken in our kitchen.

Emma and I eating breakfast at my Language Teacher's home in Baku. Both of our language classes spent the night, and enjoyed a 3 hour "Songs from a Hat" marathon. I know I mentioned SFAH in a previous post, but as it is AWESOME, I find it necessary to mention it again... No I have no idea what is in the bowl. Let's say it is some type mayo and veggie salad.

This is us at our swearing in ceremony. It was held at a cultural center in Sumqayit and covered by most of the country's major media outlets. Emma was actually interviewed by a TV news program that airs nationwide. Our host family received lots of calls from friends, and relatives, saying they had seen Emma. It was pretty cool. We also swore to defend the Constitution, which was incredible on a totally different level.

We hand wash and hang dry all of our clothes... which is fine when the weather cooperates. As you can see this load was not okayed by mother winter. Nevertheless, once it gets warm enough melt, we can view the thaw as a second, not so needed, but always welcomed rinse.

Those are all the photos I have for now. Hope everyone is well.

-Mathias