Showing posts with label Gender Issues. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gender Issues. Show all posts
Thursday, March 3, 2011
An Episode in Culture Shock
"That is too heavy for you!" He cries, hurrying towards me and taking the bucket of kitty litter from me as I emerge from the pet needs aisle. The older cashier and young bag boy grin at each other; obviously most adolescent sized women don't go stumbling through the grocery store carrying things half their size. "Why didn't you get a cart?" The bag boy asks, lugging the bucket up onto the conveyor belt. I say something about exercise and pull my cloth bazaar bag from my purse. The thin young man seems appreciative of my environmentalist gesture and cheerfully bags the rest of my groceries as I pay the cashier. Maybe it's his dark skin and lightly accented English but I suddenly feel like I am back in Azerbaijan. I automatically count how many males are looking at me, which is quite a lot since it is immediately clear that though the bag boy only outweighs me by a dozen pounds, he will squire me to my vehicle with the majority of the load and the others are going to tease him. My glance darts around to the ground, the sky, to my peripherals. As we walk towards the car I find that I can no longer make eye contact. I'm walking a few steps ahead, mentally telling myself not to walk so quickly. What is my problem? I find the intimacy of the help unbearable. I unlock the car and gesture towards the passenger side, "You can put it down on the floor there" I say, my gaze staying at a safe unfocused chest height. You probably look really bizarre and rude. American women are perfectly capable of casual interaction with service persons! "Have a great day!" I chirp at the last moment, hoping this will make up for my awkwardness. He's already off, cheerfully helping another customer. I spend the rest of the drive home wondering what triggered such a vivid emotional response. Was it the small Azerbaijan-sized onions in the produce section? Was it that choosing between the brand-name cat litter or cheaper publix kind I vividly remembered Mathias digging concrete dust out of our crawlspace into a laundry bucket for Baby Cat's first litter box? (I went with the off-brand.) Or maybe it was the bag boy himself, something (forgive me) but not-quite-American-yet about him? Or maybe it is I who am not quite American. There is one thing that is for sure and that is that Azerbaijan is not leaving me anytime soon.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Thoughts from a Prostitute on Women's Day
Today was International Women's Day. It's celebrated all around the world with a lot of fanfare, though not as much in the U.S. The staple answer is because every day is "women's day" in America. It is also a governmental holiday so there was no school or work.
This morning in the middle of making pancakes I ran short of ingredients. So I set out to the store and not two blocks away encountered a group of boys in their late teens. As I walked by one of them yelled "red woman!" (prostitute) at me as his friends laughed and high-fived.
I was still thinking of cutting replies when I stumbled across one the sweetest women I know on her way to a friends house. "Happy Women's Day!" she exclaimed, giving me a kiss on the cheek.
All day I got text messages of congratulations and notes on facebook. Women called congratulations and holiday wishes across the streets to each other. Gifts of flowers, underwear, scarves, figurines and glassware were exchanged. I find myself grinning at just about every woman I pass.
All year women bring dinner and tea to men who never say thank you. Some are not allowed to work by their husbands and some are not even allowed to leave the house. There is statistical documentation that this is one country of many that have "missing daughters", meaning that there are statistically less girls born than should be, having been aborted after the ultrasound.
I've noticed that Women's Day is primarily celebrated by women themselves. The teachers get together and pitch in to throw themselves a party. Female friends give each other gifts (To be fair, I did get a lovely tea set from three of my seventh grade boys). A PCV friend said, "I like this better than what we do, because I may never get to be a mother", which is a good point.
And it really is an uplifting holiday. I saw genuine pride on the faces of women all weekend. It's like they know or hope that they are deserving, important, special and for the long weekend the answer is a resounding yes you are!Which brings me back to the boy who called me a prostitute. Was he just trying to make sure I didn't get too uppity what with all the congratulations? Or maybe after 18 years of practice, it's just too hard to break the habit, even for one day.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Who Puts the Soap on Your Back?
Imagine this: You are sitting around on a Sunday afternoon with your extended family when your Aunt and Uncle, or maybe your brother and his wife, stand up and say, "Well, we're going to take a shower." No one blinks. And when they return everyone says "May you always be clean!" and the next couple skips off to the bathroom. What is your reaction?
I never really thought about how taboo showering together is in the States until we were living with our host family here in Shamaxi and I realized that the couples we were living with were not showering alone. In fact, our host brother once gave us the scoop on how much hot water was currently left in the tank by giving us the calculations for if we showered separately and if we showered together. At our second place of residence I noticed the same trend.
There are more than a couple of stories about PCV's being surprised by host family members appearing mid-shower to help. Talking to one of our friends today, she said that after she declined help her host mom asked "But who will put the soap on your back?" Host mom then explained that she and her daughter always help each other get to that pesky middle of the back.
What's interesting about stumbling across something like this is realizing that what for you is shocking, for someone else isn't the least bit questionable. And after being here for a while I'm seeing it for what it is, a simple cultural difference. There are some things in life that really are not black or white. Shower etiquette is one of them.
I'm even starting to wonder if a little bit of loosening up wouldn't be good for us. After our vacation to Georgia where we went to the public baths (boys to the boys side, girls the the other) At first I thought it would be weird. It wasn't. I couldn't stop enthusiastically raving about the benefits of public bathing for self-esteem. How valuable to stand in a huge room of women of all shapes, sizes, ages (and stages of gravitational influence) walking around completely un-self-consciously. And there's something about public bathing that leaves no room for cattiness; no room for "can you believe she's wearing that?"
And I think about the modesty standards in our country that would prevent this. Women in almost non-existent bathing suits will be a magazine staple in month or two but a few years back when a parenting magazine featured a cover of a woman breastfeeding the outcry was enormous. PCV's find themselves buying longer skirts and concurrently watching their underwear flap in the breeze for all to see.
Where do our feelings about the appropriateness of the human body and relationship come from? How come in Orthodox Georgia and Muslim Azerbaijan nudity within one's own gender is considered completely normal while in the United States it is not? It can't completely come from religion. Is it related to ideas about homosexuality? Was it Queen Victoria? Backlash from Freud? Just something to think about. See you at the baths.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
MSC Part 1: Lessons Learned
Two weeks ago we had what is called our Mid-Service Conference (though it was held past the mid-point). More than anything this is a time for volunteers from all over the country to get together and exchange experiences, successes and failures. It's the first time since we swore in that our entire group has been together.
One of the highlights of the conference was a man from Turkey who came to tell us about the impact Peace Corps Volunteers had on him as a child. He had two teachers who were PCVs and talked less about what they actually taught but more about how everything about them challenged his perspective-their hair, the way they walked, the way they interacted with the students. He pointed out the young women volunteers and how radical it is in a culture where women really don't leave the security of the home to see a young, unmarried woman working thousands of miles away from home confidently. He talked about how his view of what is possible changed; how he has raised his daughter to be independent and a world traveller.
I think that this was exactly what a lot of us needed to hear. In terms of "changing the world" few PCVs witness anything akin to change and progress. The modern Peace Corps in a lot of countries is not building wells or planting trees, they are teaching computer skills and English. Many of our English students will never be proficient enough to use it in their careers; some of the girls who are will be married to men who won't allow them to work or travel. There still won't be trash pick-up or reliable electricity. So in the end it really is about the relationships we are building more than anything we can see. We got to see and hear about the impact those two volunteers back in the seventies may never know they had (the former student never learned their first names). Needless to say after a year of hard work in a country that doesn't understand volunteerism ("your country sent you here to work for free? What did you do wrong!?") there wasn't a dry eye in the room.
One of the highlights of the conference was a man from Turkey who came to tell us about the impact Peace Corps Volunteers had on him as a child. He had two teachers who were PCVs and talked less about what they actually taught but more about how everything about them challenged his perspective-their hair, the way they walked, the way they interacted with the students. He pointed out the young women volunteers and how radical it is in a culture where women really don't leave the security of the home to see a young, unmarried woman working thousands of miles away from home confidently. He talked about how his view of what is possible changed; how he has raised his daughter to be independent and a world traveller.
I think that this was exactly what a lot of us needed to hear. In terms of "changing the world" few PCVs witness anything akin to change and progress. The modern Peace Corps in a lot of countries is not building wells or planting trees, they are teaching computer skills and English. Many of our English students will never be proficient enough to use it in their careers; some of the girls who are will be married to men who won't allow them to work or travel. There still won't be trash pick-up or reliable electricity. So in the end it really is about the relationships we are building more than anything we can see. We got to see and hear about the impact those two volunteers back in the seventies may never know they had (the former student never learned their first names). Needless to say after a year of hard work in a country that doesn't understand volunteerism ("your country sent you here to work for free? What did you do wrong!?") there wasn't a dry eye in the room.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Ice Skating in Heels
It finally came, the first real snow of the winter. Everyone in town seems elated. For weeks students have been telling me that it wasn't really winter because it hadn't snowed (this time last year we'd already endured multiple snow storms). And along with the snow comes adventure and the chance for lots of anthropological study.First of all, our pipes froze. Luckily we live not far from the bulaq, or spring. We need one bucket to make the toilet flush, the kettle for drinking water, and the jug for washing dishes. I feel like a pioneer girl!
Walking to school is is like walking across an ice rink that just finished hosting 30 second grade birthday parties. I remember last year shaking my head and thinking "They really must not have any lawsuits in this country." There are no salt trucks, no snowplows or shovels. Mathias' ten minute commute becomes thirty. My twenty-five minute commute becomes an hour. It's especially hard because even if the weather changes, the culturally acceptable footwear does not and we are forced to do this in dress shoes and heels. I'm only mildly afraid of hurting myself when I fall. My true fear of falling is because its very embarrassing. Especially because no one else is falling. REALLY. Over two days I fell twice, Mathias said he fell a couple of times, and out of all the people I saw all over town I only saw only ONE Azerbaijani fall down. I reason with myself-in America we have sidewalks that get shovelled, the roads get salted, and I'm from Georgia for goodness sakes! And everyone else in town has been doing this their entire life. I recently read an article about how its actually better to run barefoot, but that people who have been running in shoes forever can't go back. Is this an example of how we become slaves to our technology?
The great thing about the snow was how happy it made everybody. You could just feel it. People were smiling and watching kids sled down the street. Yes, the street, with cars and everything. Apparently I was the only person concerned as fifth grade boys tore down the ice slick (or road) in front of their school, speeding through intersections without a second thought. The sleds have square wooden seats on runners made of pipes. Because of this, they don't steer and in fact I saw more than one kid spinning as they went down. And of course, thoughtful as people here are about bums not getting cold, many of them are outfitted with pillows to sit on. I even saw a very fancy crocheted one! I thought to myself, since I didn't see any girls sledding at all, that maybe that's what the girls get to do. The boys ride, the girls make seat covers. This thought was a little presumptive though as I did see one girl the next day sledding on a side street with her family.
So I'm enjoying the snow as long as I don't break anything on the ice. Don't worry too much, my students have taken to holding my hand and walking me home!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Don't Judge Me 'Cause I'm Trashy
We burn our trash.
When I first got here, the burning of trash was one of the cultural things that bothered me the most. It’s so bad for the environment! It’s so bad for your lungs! I get a horrible headache whenever it’s trash burning day. And until now, I’ve been able to stay fairly judgmental about it through ignorance.
When I first got here, the burning of trash was one of the cultural things that bothered me the most. It’s so bad for the environment! It’s so bad for your lungs! I get a horrible headache whenever it’s trash burning day. And until now, I’ve been able to stay fairly judgmental about it through ignorance.
When we lived with a host family, trash wasn’t our responsibility and thus I didn’t have to think about it. Out of sight, out of mind, out of conscience.
In our first home by ourselves we were given two options: pay the trash men 1 manat per pickup (3 manat a month) or sneak across the neighborhood at night to dump the trash in the woods. We nobly chose the expensive route. I felt so environmentalist and smug. Yes, I Emma Jackson, Peace Corps Volunteer, was sacrificing 3 manat a month for my ethics.
A quick note about the trash pickup—There is no trash pickup schedule, no “every Tuesday at 10”. There are no trash bins to be left at the end of your driveway. The way it works is that at three random days and times during the month someone will knock on the door. There will be a big open truck parked on your street and two guys with shovels. You will run inside and collect all the trash you have and hand it to them along with your payment (always in cash). And if no one is at home you ask? Of course there is someone at home, that’s what women are for!
So when we moved here and our landlord told us to burn our trash, we declined and decided we would continue to pay the garbage men instead. We paid them. They never came back. We see them from time to time but they are as elusive as an even-handed comment on Fox News. And so after letting the bags in our kitchen build and build, we have no other option than to dispose of our trash ourselves. And that means burning it or dumping it on someone else’s yard to be torn apart by wild dogs in the night. When we finish burning it, we must then bury it. Otherwise Baby Cat comes inside with her face all black and looking like an extra in Braveheart.
And so I’m a lot less smug these days. And a lot less judgmental of people who really have no viable options. If any of you environmentalist inventors or engineers can come up with a solution, please let me know. Until then:
Recycle all the plastic you can find. Don’t do it for yourself. Do it so that when the fumes of our burning trash reach God’s nose, he’ll balance it out with your recycling indulgences on our behalf and we won’t have to live in the oil baron section when we go to heaven.
Recycle all the plastic you can find. Don’t do it for yourself. Do it so that when the fumes of our burning trash reach God’s nose, he’ll balance it out with your recycling indulgences on our behalf and we won’t have to live in the oil baron section when we go to heaven.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Azeri Women Speak
Here we go! These are the answers to the original questions plus some answers to questions individuals posed. The questions were answered by girls from Shamakhy and Kurdamir and are their own opinions. Brackets are added by me for the sake of clarity. I have had such a great time talking about these issues, similarities and differences with the ladies. I hope that this is equally interesting and enlightening for you!!
What do Azeri Women Wear?
~Trousers, Jacket, jeans.
~I can tell that it depends. I prefer casual dress. I usually wear jeans, boots, sweater, t-shirt, and sneakers. But sometimes I can wear more luxury [read: lacey, ruffley, or sparkly].
~Azeri women wear dress, skirt, and pants
~I love classic clothes but sports clothes are much more comfortable.
~I wear skirts, dresses, and heels. Not everyday, only when I am at work. But daily I like to wear jeans, sweaters and sneakers.
~I like both stylish clothes: luxurious and daily clothes like jeans, sweaters. But I never wear baseball shoes, I prefer heels. I don’t like to wear charming jewelry. I always wear makeup, but not a lot.
~Azeri women don’t differ from women in the rest of the world in their clothing. They go along with modern fashion. They prefer casual sport-style clothes in their daily wear. Young women usually wear pants, skirts, different shirts, shoes, sneakers and in the winter coats, jackets, jeans, scarves and hats. Their evening or going to wedding clothes are more luxurious and sparkly. But our mothers’ dress (I mean the middle-aged generations) differ from our style. They wear long skirts and sweaters and shoes. They wear shawls or scarves on their heads. They never wear jeans or close-fitting dresses.
When do Azeri Women get married?
~25 years.
~I’m 23. I’m not married yet. But my sister was married when she was 20.
~Our women get married at 23 or 25.
~After entering or graduating from University.
~I would like to marry at 24-25-26.
~I am 22 years old. I am not yet married for several reasons. First, I am not in love, then I am not ready for marriage.
~I guess most of the girls in Azerbaijan get married by their parent’s offer and agreements. Some of them get married at ages of 18, 20, 22. When I studied at high school, there was a girl getting married at age of 14. But she was not happy that she got married forcefully at her young age. But currently I am not ready to get married. 'Cause I have a job and education. Maybe I will get married at age of 29. 'Cause after graduating from university I will go on travels.
~I can’t say correctly a time of marriage in Azerbaijan. They get married in different times. But for our laws, they must get married after 18 years old. We prefer our parents opinions when we get married. Some families make their daughters get married early. They make them get married after they graduate from Secondary School [Equivalent U.S. 11th Grade]. They don’t let the girls live independently. But some parents want their daughters to be educated and prepared for the future. I can say that now our girls prefer to study and to get something out of life.
~There isn’t any line for Azeri women in marriage. But it mustn’t be before eighteen years old. If they get married before eighteen years old, it is for a specific reason I think [read: pregnant].
~They [specific ethnic group] get married at 14 or 15 but everyone else when they are twenty or older.
How many children do they have?
~Eight children.
~We have three children in our family. I have a sister and a brother. But I’d like to have three daughters.
~I like two children.
~Two.
~[I want] Two girls, two 2 boys.
~We are four children in our family. But in the future I would like two…because it’s a lot of responsibility!
~It depends on them, some women have many children, some have only one or two children most of all. But I want only to have a baby girl.
~Before, in Azerbaijani families, there were seven or eight children. But now they want fewer children. At the moment they have maximum four children because they want to give their children all opportunities. We are six children in our family. I’d like to have twin daughters and a son.
~I think that every family wants the number of children that match their economic situation. They have at least children. Sometimes they have four or five children. I can say that the couples agree about how many children they will have.
Do Women Use Birth Control?
~Yeah, surely. Most Azeri families prefer sons, and if they have any daughters in the family, they don't want any more. So they have an abortion if the woman is pregnant or prevent pregnancy with pills or some medicine.
~Yes, they can get an abortion.
~Abortion.
~I can’t say correct answer about this cause I never meet with like this situation. I think so. If they have 2 or 3 children after getting married and they don’t want to have another child then they can be allowed to use birth control.
How do you live?
~I live with my family
~I live with my parents now. I guess most Azeri girls live with their families. But when I studied at the University I lived by myself and my friends.
~I live fine and I live in Shamakhy
~I live with my parents in Shamakhy
~I live with my family. In my free time I like to put on make up and straighten my hair (hair dryer). I pray, read the Koran.
~In our country the women live with their mothers and fathers till marriage. Now I am not married yet. Therefore I live with my family.
~Hey all the Americans! My name is Seva. I am from Azerbaijan. I am at age of 20, but in 2nd January I will be 21 years old. I’m a student of Economic University. Not only I’m studying but also I’m working in HR at a company. At 8 o’clock I usually leave home and come back at 7:30 in the evening. Although it is difficult for me, I always do my best. Now I am trying to learn English. I should improve my speaking language. I am very grateful to meet you by email. When Emma showed me these questions I was very curious about these. I liked your questions. In my spare times I usually read interesting books, listen to the music or go for a walk with my friends.
~We are doing different things in our free time. Each person has a hobby. Some women read books in their free time. Some knit, write poems, listen to music. Others go for a walk. I write poems in my free time and sometimes I ride a bicycle. But I am a student and so I am around books. I enjoy reading books.
What work do Azeri Women do?
~Teacher, doctor, actor.
~Most women in Azerbaijan prefer to be teachers or doctors. My mom, my sister, and I are teachers.
~Our women work as a teacher, doctor, or everyday housewife.
~In Azerbaijan most of the women are teachers and doctors although I graduated in American Studies.
~In Azerbaijan everybody has the opinion that all the girls must be a teacher or a doctor. But now, the women are allowed to work in different jobs. They work as policewomen, journalists, lawyers, actresses, deputies and other jobs. I wanted to be a lawyer but I am a teacher. But I think that it’s never too late and I’ll try for this.
If you lived in America, what work would you like to do?
~Teacher
~I have worked in HR before, now I’d like to work as the HR manager again wherever I live.
~If I live in America I am working as a Businesslady.
~I’d like to work in a bank in America.
~If I were in America, I would realize all my dreams. I’d like to be an editor-in-chief in the magazine sphere.
~If I lived in America I my dream job would be management.
~If I was in America I would change all the things in my life. I would like to be a journalist although I could be a journalist in Azerbaijan also. But I think there are more opportunities to be a journalist in America. I would want to be free in I lived there but I wouldn’t forget our mentality because I’m an Azeri girl. But I can’t answer this question exactly because I’m not in America. If I were to go to America then I would be able to tell my thoughts more clearly.
~If I were in America I’d live my life independently. I’d make my career. And I’d like to live more independently from my family. I’d be a policewoman there.
What is different about Azerbaijani women than women in other countries?
~Azeri women are very kind, patient. But they are not free as most European and American women. But I guess we have more independence than most Muslim countries. For example, our families don’t choose a bride for us like other Muslim countries. We can study, love, marry.
~Our women do not have freedom, because they are housewives.
~They are in make-up every time.
~I think the opportunities for women in Azerbaijan not so bad, not so good. But they are very patient women because it is not everybody treat to them good. This is one of the important (gender) problem in our country. The men and women’s rights are not equal.
~After reading your answers I guess the main differences between you and us, I see you have more freedom unlike us. I like your way of living. There is a difference that we should live with our parents until we get married. We are not free to make our own choices and opportunities. ~After getting married we have to obey them and take care of husband and children. In our country women can’t do things that men do. And there is some women doing like that is being met by others badly.
~Azeri women don’t differ from any of the world’s women but they don’t live independently after they are eighteen years old like in America. They live with their families until they get married. They try to be an ideal wife for their husbands. They are kind and frank. The family is a sacred duty for them.
~Azeri women differ for their beauty, charm and positive characteristics from others. Azerbaijani women differ for their outlook too.
What is your favorite place in Azerbaijan?
~Parks
~There is a lot of sightseeing to do in Azerbaijan. There are amazing views of my city. But I love Inn City (Ichery Sheher) in Baku, the capital of Azerbaijan. This is the oldest part of the city.
~Nabran, the Caspian Sea.
~I like Baku very much (The capital of Azerbaijan).
~My favorite place is to be with my family and meet my friends from the University.
~There are many sightseeing places in Azerbaijan. It regions are like a paradise. Some of them are Gabala, Ismailli, Guba, and others. In Baku there are the Maiden’s Tower, Shirvan Shah’s Palace (Before it was in Shamakhy but after the earthquake in the 12th century they moved it to Baku), Heydar Parks. In Baku there are historical places. Lahic, a village of Ismaille is a historical place.
Do Housewives like being provided for, or do they wish they could take a more active role in working to support the household?
~Most of the women like being provided by their husbands, there is a few women like taking a more active role in working to support the household. Maybe I’ll also be one of them in future. I like to do everything myself. I never like being provided by someone.
~There is an unwritten law that the man must work and the woman must take care of the house. But this is for housewives. Some women made their careers before they got married. But some women got married in their youth and get money from their husbands when they need. I think it is not good. Every person must think about herself, make her career and provide for her own future.
What kind of food do they cook?
~In general Azerbaijani women cook all kinds of food such as dolma, ash, dovğa, a pea soup with meat (a kind of eastern dish), chicken stuff and etc. But I have no free time to cook something in accordance with studying and working all the time
~I love my mom's meals, she cooks a lot of national meals. She usually cooks dolma, plov, chopped meat, dovga. Our people use meat a lot. Especially mutton and veal. But we love chicken and fish too.
I’m curious about where you get your food from-small markets or directly from farmers? I would guess that you have far less variety than we do but maybe yours is fresher. And do you have cookbooks or are recipes handed down verbally?
~My parents usually purchase some foods from the markets but not from farmers. Some people like getting their foods to be fresher only from the farmers. And everyone has cookbooks and recipes. While cooking the meal they usually use from the cookbooks or recipes. My younger aunt likes cooking the meals by cookbook or recipes. This is her favorite job.
~At home usually my mom cooks and she doesn't use any cookbooks for meals, I can tell that she is not the only one; all Azeri women cook from heart. But when we cook cakes, biscuits or make salads we use cookbooks or recipes.
~We have market in our town which brings food products from other towns and countries. My dad goes there once a week and buys what we need. We buy meat from butcher's and milk and eggs from farmers. Because they are fresh and healthy. But there is a big department store near our house and there are a lot of departments in it and there is food department too. We get sugar, tea, candies, cookies, chewing gum, etc. from there.
Which American movie star has the best clothes?
~I think Monica Belluci, Jenifer Lopez, Giovanna Antonelli etc.
~My favorite movie star is Hillary Duff and I like her clothing. She is cute.
What do Azeri Women Wear?
~Trousers, Jacket, jeans.
~I can tell that it depends. I prefer casual dress. I usually wear jeans, boots, sweater, t-shirt, and sneakers. But sometimes I can wear more luxury [read: lacey, ruffley, or sparkly].
~Azeri women wear dress, skirt, and pants
~I love classic clothes but sports clothes are much more comfortable.
~I wear skirts, dresses, and heels. Not everyday, only when I am at work. But daily I like to wear jeans, sweaters and sneakers.
~I like both stylish clothes: luxurious and daily clothes like jeans, sweaters. But I never wear baseball shoes, I prefer heels. I don’t like to wear charming jewelry. I always wear makeup, but not a lot.
~Azeri women don’t differ from women in the rest of the world in their clothing. They go along with modern fashion. They prefer casual sport-style clothes in their daily wear. Young women usually wear pants, skirts, different shirts, shoes, sneakers and in the winter coats, jackets, jeans, scarves and hats. Their evening or going to wedding clothes are more luxurious and sparkly. But our mothers’ dress (I mean the middle-aged generations) differ from our style. They wear long skirts and sweaters and shoes. They wear shawls or scarves on their heads. They never wear jeans or close-fitting dresses.
When do Azeri Women get married?
~25 years.
~I’m 23. I’m not married yet. But my sister was married when she was 20.
~Our women get married at 23 or 25.
~After entering or graduating from University.
~I would like to marry at 24-25-26.
~I am 22 years old. I am not yet married for several reasons. First, I am not in love, then I am not ready for marriage.
~I guess most of the girls in Azerbaijan get married by their parent’s offer and agreements. Some of them get married at ages of 18, 20, 22. When I studied at high school, there was a girl getting married at age of 14. But she was not happy that she got married forcefully at her young age. But currently I am not ready to get married. 'Cause I have a job and education. Maybe I will get married at age of 29. 'Cause after graduating from university I will go on travels.
~I can’t say correctly a time of marriage in Azerbaijan. They get married in different times. But for our laws, they must get married after 18 years old. We prefer our parents opinions when we get married. Some families make their daughters get married early. They make them get married after they graduate from Secondary School [Equivalent U.S. 11th Grade]. They don’t let the girls live independently. But some parents want their daughters to be educated and prepared for the future. I can say that now our girls prefer to study and to get something out of life.
~There isn’t any line for Azeri women in marriage. But it mustn’t be before eighteen years old. If they get married before eighteen years old, it is for a specific reason I think [read: pregnant].
~They [specific ethnic group] get married at 14 or 15 but everyone else when they are twenty or older.
How many children do they have?
~Eight children.
~We have three children in our family. I have a sister and a brother. But I’d like to have three daughters.
~I like two children.
~Two.
~[I want] Two girls, two 2 boys.
~We are four children in our family. But in the future I would like two…because it’s a lot of responsibility!
~It depends on them, some women have many children, some have only one or two children most of all. But I want only to have a baby girl.
~Before, in Azerbaijani families, there were seven or eight children. But now they want fewer children. At the moment they have maximum four children because they want to give their children all opportunities. We are six children in our family. I’d like to have twin daughters and a son.
~I think that every family wants the number of children that match their economic situation. They have at least children. Sometimes they have four or five children. I can say that the couples agree about how many children they will have.
Do Women Use Birth Control?
~Yeah, surely. Most Azeri families prefer sons, and if they have any daughters in the family, they don't want any more. So they have an abortion if the woman is pregnant or prevent pregnancy with pills or some medicine.
~Yes, they can get an abortion.
~Abortion.
~I can’t say correct answer about this cause I never meet with like this situation. I think so. If they have 2 or 3 children after getting married and they don’t want to have another child then they can be allowed to use birth control.
How do you live?
~I live with my family
~I live with my parents now. I guess most Azeri girls live with their families. But when I studied at the University I lived by myself and my friends.
~I live fine and I live in Shamakhy
~I live with my parents in Shamakhy
~I live with my family. In my free time I like to put on make up and straighten my hair (hair dryer). I pray, read the Koran.
~In our country the women live with their mothers and fathers till marriage. Now I am not married yet. Therefore I live with my family.
~Hey all the Americans! My name is Seva. I am from Azerbaijan. I am at age of 20, but in 2nd January I will be 21 years old. I’m a student of Economic University. Not only I’m studying but also I’m working in HR at a company. At 8 o’clock I usually leave home and come back at 7:30 in the evening. Although it is difficult for me, I always do my best. Now I am trying to learn English. I should improve my speaking language. I am very grateful to meet you by email. When Emma showed me these questions I was very curious about these. I liked your questions. In my spare times I usually read interesting books, listen to the music or go for a walk with my friends.
~We are doing different things in our free time. Each person has a hobby. Some women read books in their free time. Some knit, write poems, listen to music. Others go for a walk. I write poems in my free time and sometimes I ride a bicycle. But I am a student and so I am around books. I enjoy reading books.
What work do Azeri Women do?
~Teacher, doctor, actor.
~Most women in Azerbaijan prefer to be teachers or doctors. My mom, my sister, and I are teachers.
~Our women work as a teacher, doctor, or everyday housewife.
~In Azerbaijan most of the women are teachers and doctors although I graduated in American Studies.
~In Azerbaijan everybody has the opinion that all the girls must be a teacher or a doctor. But now, the women are allowed to work in different jobs. They work as policewomen, journalists, lawyers, actresses, deputies and other jobs. I wanted to be a lawyer but I am a teacher. But I think that it’s never too late and I’ll try for this.
If you lived in America, what work would you like to do?
~Teacher
~I have worked in HR before, now I’d like to work as the HR manager again wherever I live.
~If I live in America I am working as a Businesslady.
~I’d like to work in a bank in America.
~If I were in America, I would realize all my dreams. I’d like to be an editor-in-chief in the magazine sphere.
~If I lived in America I my dream job would be management.
~If I was in America I would change all the things in my life. I would like to be a journalist although I could be a journalist in Azerbaijan also. But I think there are more opportunities to be a journalist in America. I would want to be free in I lived there but I wouldn’t forget our mentality because I’m an Azeri girl. But I can’t answer this question exactly because I’m not in America. If I were to go to America then I would be able to tell my thoughts more clearly.
~If I were in America I’d live my life independently. I’d make my career. And I’d like to live more independently from my family. I’d be a policewoman there.
What is different about Azerbaijani women than women in other countries?
~Azeri women are very kind, patient. But they are not free as most European and American women. But I guess we have more independence than most Muslim countries. For example, our families don’t choose a bride for us like other Muslim countries. We can study, love, marry.
~Our women do not have freedom, because they are housewives.
~They are in make-up every time.
~I think the opportunities for women in Azerbaijan not so bad, not so good. But they are very patient women because it is not everybody treat to them good. This is one of the important (gender) problem in our country. The men and women’s rights are not equal.
~After reading your answers I guess the main differences between you and us, I see you have more freedom unlike us. I like your way of living. There is a difference that we should live with our parents until we get married. We are not free to make our own choices and opportunities. ~After getting married we have to obey them and take care of husband and children. In our country women can’t do things that men do. And there is some women doing like that is being met by others badly.
~Azeri women don’t differ from any of the world’s women but they don’t live independently after they are eighteen years old like in America. They live with their families until they get married. They try to be an ideal wife for their husbands. They are kind and frank. The family is a sacred duty for them.
~Azeri women differ for their beauty, charm and positive characteristics from others. Azerbaijani women differ for their outlook too.
What is your favorite place in Azerbaijan?
~Parks
~There is a lot of sightseeing to do in Azerbaijan. There are amazing views of my city. But I love Inn City (Ichery Sheher) in Baku, the capital of Azerbaijan. This is the oldest part of the city.
~Nabran, the Caspian Sea.
~I like Baku very much (The capital of Azerbaijan).
~My favorite place is to be with my family and meet my friends from the University.
~There are many sightseeing places in Azerbaijan. It regions are like a paradise. Some of them are Gabala, Ismailli, Guba, and others. In Baku there are the Maiden’s Tower, Shirvan Shah’s Palace (Before it was in Shamakhy but after the earthquake in the 12th century they moved it to Baku), Heydar Parks. In Baku there are historical places. Lahic, a village of Ismaille is a historical place.
Do Housewives like being provided for, or do they wish they could take a more active role in working to support the household?
~Most of the women like being provided by their husbands, there is a few women like taking a more active role in working to support the household. Maybe I’ll also be one of them in future. I like to do everything myself. I never like being provided by someone.
~There is an unwritten law that the man must work and the woman must take care of the house. But this is for housewives. Some women made their careers before they got married. But some women got married in their youth and get money from their husbands when they need. I think it is not good. Every person must think about herself, make her career and provide for her own future.
What kind of food do they cook?
~In general Azerbaijani women cook all kinds of food such as dolma, ash, dovğa, a pea soup with meat (a kind of eastern dish), chicken stuff and etc. But I have no free time to cook something in accordance with studying and working all the time
~I love my mom's meals, she cooks a lot of national meals. She usually cooks dolma, plov, chopped meat, dovga. Our people use meat a lot. Especially mutton and veal. But we love chicken and fish too.
I’m curious about where you get your food from-small markets or directly from farmers? I would guess that you have far less variety than we do but maybe yours is fresher. And do you have cookbooks or are recipes handed down verbally?
~My parents usually purchase some foods from the markets but not from farmers. Some people like getting their foods to be fresher only from the farmers. And everyone has cookbooks and recipes. While cooking the meal they usually use from the cookbooks or recipes. My younger aunt likes cooking the meals by cookbook or recipes. This is her favorite job.
~At home usually my mom cooks and she doesn't use any cookbooks for meals, I can tell that she is not the only one; all Azeri women cook from heart. But when we cook cakes, biscuits or make salads we use cookbooks or recipes.
~We have market in our town which brings food products from other towns and countries. My dad goes there once a week and buys what we need. We buy meat from butcher's and milk and eggs from farmers. Because they are fresh and healthy. But there is a big department store near our house and there are a lot of departments in it and there is food department too. We get sugar, tea, candies, cookies, chewing gum, etc. from there.
Which American movie star has the best clothes?
~I think Monica Belluci, Jenifer Lopez, Giovanna Antonelli etc.
~My favorite movie star is Hillary Duff and I like her clothing. She is cute.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Women's Cultural Exchange
Thank you so much for such a great response!! We had over a dozen women respond with a lot of diversity and insight. Special thanks to those of you who passed the link along to other friends.
I compiled your answers and we read them aloud as a group on Thursday. Everyone told me that they really enjoyed hearing and thinking about what you wrote and two of my excellent students had a great opportunity to practice their translation skills. Currently everyone is working on their own responses to your questions which they will turn in to me on Tuesday. After I get them translated and typed up I will be sure to share them with you (Inshallah before Christmas!)
Until then I thought I'd share a few of the thoughts that were expressed this week.
Regarding clothing: "We've learned that almost all American women wear pants. And mostly jeans! "(Including moms!)
Regarding Jobs: One of the girls made a comment about something that I completely take for granted. She said she realized it really is true that in America women can do any job they want-they don't have to choose only between housewife, teacher, or doctor. I personally was surprised by how much pleasure I took reading about your work as Businesswomen, Members of the Arts Community, Lawyers, Soldiers, Priests, Stay at Home Moms and more!
Regarding "How they Live"-The girls pointed out to me that not a single respondent lives with her family (And not one woman in our group here lives alone). I think this was the biggest cultural difference of all and a thought-provoking one.
Regarding Men-The biggest reaction of the day was to this sentence "I do all the washing and cooking and my husband washes the dishes and cleans the kitchen. He also vacuums and takes care of the yard. " I could hardly finish reading before the chatter became uncontrollable. Some were surprised or delighted about the husband doing work part. Some declared they are moving to America (or at least finding American husbands!).
Again, thank you so much for taking the time to write to us. It was encouraging just to me to remember how much is possible if you are born a girl in America. I'll go out on a limb and say I think it was encouraging to my ladies as well.
Stay Tuned Next Week: Azerbaijani Women's Answers!
I compiled your answers and we read them aloud as a group on Thursday. Everyone told me that they really enjoyed hearing and thinking about what you wrote and two of my excellent students had a great opportunity to practice their translation skills. Currently everyone is working on their own responses to your questions which they will turn in to me on Tuesday. After I get them translated and typed up I will be sure to share them with you (Inshallah before Christmas!)
Until then I thought I'd share a few of the thoughts that were expressed this week.
Regarding clothing: "We've learned that almost all American women wear pants. And mostly jeans! "(Including moms!)
Regarding Jobs: One of the girls made a comment about something that I completely take for granted. She said she realized it really is true that in America women can do any job they want-they don't have to choose only between housewife, teacher, or doctor. I personally was surprised by how much pleasure I took reading about your work as Businesswomen, Members of the Arts Community, Lawyers, Soldiers, Priests, Stay at Home Moms and more!
Regarding "How they Live"-The girls pointed out to me that not a single respondent lives with her family (And not one woman in our group here lives alone). I think this was the biggest cultural difference of all and a thought-provoking one.
Regarding Men-The biggest reaction of the day was to this sentence "I do all the washing and cooking and my husband washes the dishes and cleans the kitchen. He also vacuums and takes care of the yard. " I could hardly finish reading before the chatter became uncontrollable. Some were surprised or delighted about the husband doing work part. Some declared they are moving to America (or at least finding American husbands!).
Again, thank you so much for taking the time to write to us. It was encouraging just to me to remember how much is possible if you are born a girl in America. I'll go out on a limb and say I think it was encouraging to my ladies as well.
Stay Tuned Next Week: Azerbaijani Women's Answers!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Calling American Women!!
Want to take part in some cultural exchange? Today in my women's group I postured the following:
"If you could ask women in America one thing, what would it be?"
Thanks to the wonders of the Internet, I can pass what they said along to you! Could you take a moment and write down your own answers to a couple of these questions and send them to me at azerijack@gmail.com?
Here is the list they came up with:
~What do American women wear?
~How do they live?
~What work do they do?
~At what age to they get married?
~How many children do they have/want?
~What do you do in your free time?
~What is different about American women from women in other countries?
~What is your favorite place in America?
Be as creative as you like. For example, if you want to send a picture of yourself to demonstrate what you wear or make a video response I know they'd love it. Our next class is on Thursday, December 17th and I'd like to have at least a few answers to read by then but we can make this an ongoing dialogue. The girls are also prepared to answer questions about their own lives from you so feel free to send those along as well!
"If you could ask women in America one thing, what would it be?"
Thanks to the wonders of the Internet, I can pass what they said along to you! Could you take a moment and write down your own answers to a couple of these questions and send them to me at azerijack@gmail.com?
Here is the list they came up with:
~What do American women wear?
~How do they live?
~What work do they do?
~At what age to they get married?
~How many children do they have/want?
~What do you do in your free time?
~What is different about American women from women in other countries?
~What is your favorite place in America?
Be as creative as you like. For example, if you want to send a picture of yourself to demonstrate what you wear or make a video response I know they'd love it. Our next class is on Thursday, December 17th and I'd like to have at least a few answers to read by then but we can make this an ongoing dialogue. The girls are also prepared to answer questions about their own lives from you so feel free to send those along as well!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Finland v Azerbaijan
Everybody should feel better seeing this picture. It shows that no matter where we go, I am still the palest person in the world.
While Jon and I were swimming, the girls meet a nice Finnish journalist by the name of Tommi. He was covering the soccer game for Finland's version of the New York Times. He was super cool so we invited him over for dinner.
Dinner with all those attending the game.
Most of the crew at the game. The stadium probably held about 10,000 fans, 99.99% of which were Azeri men. Tommi actually commented in his article that he could name all of the non-Finnish women in attendance. He then listed them off. Emma is now super popular in Finland.
Here's a fun game. Play find a female...
It's a trick, there are no women in this picture!
Azerbaijan actually scored the first goal and so I quickly took a photo to show how the scoreboard read. The feeling inside the stadium was electric. Really, it was awesome.
An Azeri Glee club tried to scare the "Nothern" visitors with this sign.... grrrrr.
A shot of the field.
Azeri fans with signs that when presented created a stadium wide Azeri flag.
There were soldiers placed every 10 feet or so around the field. It was odd for those of us who live in Azerbaijan. I can't imagine what the Finnish players must have thought. In Azerbaijan young men must serve for a year and a half when they turn 18. Lankaran houses the largest military base in Azerbaijan, so I can only assume attendance was mandatory for the men. Not a bad assignment.
The trip was awesome even though Finland ended up winning 2-1. Oh well, fun was had by all!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Life in the Sandbox
Today I met with a group of ladies in the park. We meet there because there is no where else that is culturally appropriate to meet*. We had a nice chat despite being obviously stared at by groups of cruising adolescent to adult men. On our way out of the park, a group of teenage boys started jeering, specifically at me. They were trying to figure out why as a woman I would have come to this park; Things like "oohh, she wants to marry me!" I sort of lost it. I swung around, affected an immature posture, shouted "I'm married!" in Azeri, and gave them the ring finger (to show the ring, of course).
The women immediately responded to me-"Don't respond!" "Ignore them!" "Don't let it bother you!" And I angrily retorted--"They get to yell at me! Why am I not allowed to yell at them?!"
And I've been thinking about it a lot. Usually I don't respond. Usually nobody says anything to me, or if they do I give such a condescending, withering look that they run away.
The traditional advice for dealing with bullies is exactly what the ladies said-Ignore them and they'll get bored and go away.
But this is pervasive. This is a gender issue. And I have a right to raise my voice in disagreement. My friend said something along the lines of, doesn't this happen to you in America? To which I gave a emphatic "No!"
And I probably said something because at this point I feel attached to what happens here. Before becoming a PCV I read posts like this and thought "well, you are just not integrating enough." Not everyone here believes that men are superior to women or that young men have the right to be rude to women. I know Azeri women who have big dreams and believe in equality, who work for equality in the workplace and in society. I have male friends and coworkers here who are fantastic. They are intelligent, educated, and polite. And the boys in the park make this culture look bad. Specifically they are the kind of men that make people I know say things like "I hate this country!" and "I hate Azeri men!". And that should be stopped. But does my saying anything make it better? It won't as long as the mothers and grandmothers say to each other-"What did she expect? What was she doing in the park?" This isn't just a men's issue.
And again, they're just teenage boys with nothing better to do. They exist in every society. And I'm a grown-up, educated woman. So why am I letting this get to me?
What do you do when you feel like you are living in a giant middle school? What would you do?
~Emma
*I know that there is some misunderstanding about where women are and are not "allowed" to go in Azerbaijan on the part of people in the US. There is nowhere (to my knowledge) that women are "not allowed" to go, no one will stop you from entering a teahouse or internet club; they'll just judge you like crazy. But some places are more appropriate than others. This incident took place in our Heydar Aliev Park, which is about as universally public place as I think one could imagine-with fountains and families galore.
The women immediately responded to me-"Don't respond!" "Ignore them!" "Don't let it bother you!" And I angrily retorted--"They get to yell at me! Why am I not allowed to yell at them?!"
And I've been thinking about it a lot. Usually I don't respond. Usually nobody says anything to me, or if they do I give such a condescending, withering look that they run away.
The traditional advice for dealing with bullies is exactly what the ladies said-Ignore them and they'll get bored and go away.
But this is pervasive. This is a gender issue. And I have a right to raise my voice in disagreement. My friend said something along the lines of, doesn't this happen to you in America? To which I gave a emphatic "No!"
And I probably said something because at this point I feel attached to what happens here. Before becoming a PCV I read posts like this and thought "well, you are just not integrating enough." Not everyone here believes that men are superior to women or that young men have the right to be rude to women. I know Azeri women who have big dreams and believe in equality, who work for equality in the workplace and in society. I have male friends and coworkers here who are fantastic. They are intelligent, educated, and polite. And the boys in the park make this culture look bad. Specifically they are the kind of men that make people I know say things like "I hate this country!" and "I hate Azeri men!". And that should be stopped. But does my saying anything make it better? It won't as long as the mothers and grandmothers say to each other-"What did she expect? What was she doing in the park?" This isn't just a men's issue.
And again, they're just teenage boys with nothing better to do. They exist in every society. And I'm a grown-up, educated woman. So why am I letting this get to me?
What do you do when you feel like you are living in a giant middle school? What would you do?
~Emma
*I know that there is some misunderstanding about where women are and are not "allowed" to go in Azerbaijan on the part of people in the US. There is nowhere (to my knowledge) that women are "not allowed" to go, no one will stop you from entering a teahouse or internet club; they'll just judge you like crazy. But some places are more appropriate than others. This incident took place in our Heydar Aliev Park, which is about as universally public place as I think one could imagine-with fountains and families galore.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Old Wives Tales
Azerbaijani, like any culture, has its own collection of "Old Wives Tales". Things such as:
1. If you drink cold water you will become ill.
2. If you take a shower during the winter, and don't cover yourself immediately afterwards, you will become ill.
3. If you are a woman and sit on the floor, or an uncovered chair, you will become infertile.
4. If you pet a stray cat you will become infertile.
5. Eating the combination of honey and melon will kill you... I am not kidding.
But my favorite, and the one which has been stressed the most is:
If diabetic, you are unsuited and apparently incapable of procreation after the age of 25.
So here is how we found out:
Every time we meet someone in Azerbaijan we are asked 4 things.
1. Name
2. Where are we from?
3. Are we married?
4. If yes, do you have children? / If no, why?
So, Emma was at school meeting yet another new teacher. The teacher followed the rules and asked all of the required questions. However, when Emma explained that we didn't have children and didn't want them for a couple of years, the teacher became very serious. Apparently, the questions were just for fun, for somehow she knew enough to be aware of the fact that I am diabetic. She in a very knowing, and all together concerned manner, explained that we must have children now. If we didn't, we were going to lose our chance. That is, if we hadn't already. So Emma being the polite and humoring soul she is, smiled and explained that we felt okay about our odds. However, the teacher persisted. She explained that a friend of her sister-in-law's mother is married to a diabetic. They waited too long to have kids and now couldn't. The reason being, he was a diabetic and over the age of 25. Ha ha ha, fun story.
Fast forward, 2 months. We have now heard different versions of the same story many many times. Emma is visiting our first host family. Everyone is sitting in the kitchen talking about this, that and not drinking cold water. Then all of a sudden Emma begins to hear bits of a conversation taking place between our host mother and host aunt. The host aunt is expressing great concern over the fact we have yet to conceive and relays to our host mother the hard facts about being a diabetic and not having children before the age of 25. Well for whatever reason this really gets to Emma. She approaches the two and explains that she understood their conversation. Slightly astonished, the two are even more surprised when Emma began to explain that diabetics can have children after the age of 25. So, the aunt tells the same story another way and suggests that we not tempt fate. Emma smiles, respectfully disagrees and explains that if God wills it, we will be fine. Everyone agreed with this statement and the night went on without incident. Still, for whatever reason, the idea of diabetics not being able to have kids after 25 begins to really hit home. It is kinda like the first time you realize the fun side of a conspiracy theory. You know it can't be true, but for whatever reason you are beginning to accept the idea of a Cuban assassin on the grassy knoll. Back and to the left baby, back and to the left.
So we meet up the next day and Emma explains the story once again. Yet, this time even I begin to worry. It starts as a distracting thought that interferes with my day dreaming and turns into a full scale assault on all that I thought to be true. Black is white, Olives do taste okay and worst of all, I as a 25 year old diabetic have missed my chance to have kids. Then I start doing the math. My grandfather was a diabetic. He was born in 1926. My dad was born in 1952. That is 25/26 years right there. Then my aunts Donna and Paula were born a number of years after my dad, so I have to be fine. They way the numbers read, I can have children well into my thirties. Thank goodness.
I arrive home, drink a glass of cold water, take a shower and air dry, pet a stray cat and eat some melons and honey. Subsequently, the next day I come down with a wicked cold and almost die from a high blood sugar thanks to the m/h.... This paragraph is full of lies, but the rest is true as true can be.
I think all of this shows what a little persistence and fear mongering can do. I, for one, believe that if we are supposed to have children we will. I also have come to understand how terrible "old wives tales" can be... especially if you are 25 and diabetic.
Hope all is well.
Love and Miss,
Mathias
1. If you drink cold water you will become ill.
2. If you take a shower during the winter, and don't cover yourself immediately afterwards, you will become ill.
3. If you are a woman and sit on the floor, or an uncovered chair, you will become infertile.
4. If you pet a stray cat you will become infertile.
5. Eating the combination of honey and melon will kill you... I am not kidding.
But my favorite, and the one which has been stressed the most is:
If diabetic, you are unsuited and apparently incapable of procreation after the age of 25.
So here is how we found out:
Every time we meet someone in Azerbaijan we are asked 4 things.
1. Name
2. Where are we from?
3. Are we married?
4. If yes, do you have children? / If no, why?
So, Emma was at school meeting yet another new teacher. The teacher followed the rules and asked all of the required questions. However, when Emma explained that we didn't have children and didn't want them for a couple of years, the teacher became very serious. Apparently, the questions were just for fun, for somehow she knew enough to be aware of the fact that I am diabetic. She in a very knowing, and all together concerned manner, explained that we must have children now. If we didn't, we were going to lose our chance. That is, if we hadn't already. So Emma being the polite and humoring soul she is, smiled and explained that we felt okay about our odds. However, the teacher persisted. She explained that a friend of her sister-in-law's mother is married to a diabetic. They waited too long to have kids and now couldn't. The reason being, he was a diabetic and over the age of 25. Ha ha ha, fun story.
Fast forward, 2 months. We have now heard different versions of the same story many many times. Emma is visiting our first host family. Everyone is sitting in the kitchen talking about this, that and not drinking cold water. Then all of a sudden Emma begins to hear bits of a conversation taking place between our host mother and host aunt. The host aunt is expressing great concern over the fact we have yet to conceive and relays to our host mother the hard facts about being a diabetic and not having children before the age of 25. Well for whatever reason this really gets to Emma. She approaches the two and explains that she understood their conversation. Slightly astonished, the two are even more surprised when Emma began to explain that diabetics can have children after the age of 25. So, the aunt tells the same story another way and suggests that we not tempt fate. Emma smiles, respectfully disagrees and explains that if God wills it, we will be fine. Everyone agreed with this statement and the night went on without incident. Still, for whatever reason, the idea of diabetics not being able to have kids after 25 begins to really hit home. It is kinda like the first time you realize the fun side of a conspiracy theory. You know it can't be true, but for whatever reason you are beginning to accept the idea of a Cuban assassin on the grassy knoll. Back and to the left baby, back and to the left.
So we meet up the next day and Emma explains the story once again. Yet, this time even I begin to worry. It starts as a distracting thought that interferes with my day dreaming and turns into a full scale assault on all that I thought to be true. Black is white, Olives do taste okay and worst of all, I as a 25 year old diabetic have missed my chance to have kids. Then I start doing the math. My grandfather was a diabetic. He was born in 1926. My dad was born in 1952. That is 25/26 years right there. Then my aunts Donna and Paula were born a number of years after my dad, so I have to be fine. They way the numbers read, I can have children well into my thirties. Thank goodness.
I arrive home, drink a glass of cold water, take a shower and air dry, pet a stray cat and eat some melons and honey. Subsequently, the next day I come down with a wicked cold and almost die from a high blood sugar thanks to the m/h.... This paragraph is full of lies, but the rest is true as true can be.
I think all of this shows what a little persistence and fear mongering can do. I, for one, believe that if we are supposed to have children we will. I also have come to understand how terrible "old wives tales" can be... especially if you are 25 and diabetic.
Hope all is well.
Love and Miss,
Mathias
Thursday, January 29, 2009
A Typical Day in Azerbaijan
What do you do on a typical day there that wouldn't be so typical here?
Or, what is just the same that you didn't expect to be so similar?
From: Sara B. - Portland, ME
Following breakfast, I walk 10 minutes to school. By the time I get within sight of school, I usually have two or three students walking with me. As I enter the main complex, I gain another 5 or so, each wanting to try out the latest English phrase. Inside the school is just as crazy, with kids running everywhere. Most students greet me with a “Hello” or “Good Morning.” It kind of makes me feel like a big deal... until they say something in really basic Azerbaijani and I remember just how cool I am. As in: “What did you just say?”, “Can you repeat that?”, “I am not sure what you just said, but sure, I too like Ice Dancing.” (Quick Ice Dancing note: One of our best friends here, a PCV from the Detroit, MI area, dated/went to prom with the 2008 Olympic Silver Medalist in Ice Dancing... Awesome!) I then shuffle by the male teachers smoking in the hall way, shake all the hands I can grab, say my “Hellos” or “Good Mornings” in Azerbaijani, glance at the female teachers in the teachers’ room, and head to whichever classroom holds my first lesson. Similar to Japan, students stay in the same classroom while teachers rotate between periods.
During class, I focus my part of the lesson on pronunciation, which is fun because all of the words are written phonetically in British English... it is a cruel world students, cruel. Thus, the students learn how to speak with an American accent, while studying British Grammar (“I have got a copybook”) in text books put out by the Azerbaijani government. My counterparts are very competent in English Grammar and I am constantly impressed by their ability to translate, anything and everything, from English to Azerbaijani, on the spot. Not that I can tell if they right, but they sure sell it either way. Classes are 45 minutes long and I teach no more than four a day.
Most of my work is done by 12:10pm. However, I am involved in other projects, such as: English conversation clubs, AZ youth softball, the Azerbaijani Boys Leadership Experience (ABLE) and the Volunteer Advisory Committee. Not that they do too much for my afternoons, but on occasion they push some work my way.
Outside of that, I am reading way more than usual. In the last two weeks, I have read The Great Book of Amber and Eragon, twice. “Anime あにめExpo 2009” here I come! I also listen to a lot of music and try to lesson plan. Life is pretty good. Emma is making fun of me for the last paragraph. That’s it.
Emma:
Also different is that once I get home, I stay home. This is for a couple reasons. First, it’s too much of a hassle to change back into appropriate street clothes. Also, there isn’t really anywhere I can go. Women are not supposed to go to restaurants, coffee shops, or internet cafes. And recently I was told that because I look young and could be viewed as a “girl” I really shouldn’t even go to the bazaar for food. Men and boys are supposed to buy meat and make runs for small purchases. Mothers make the Bazaar runs and girls are supposed to go from school to home. At least that’s how it seems here; people have told me that Şamaxı is a conservative town. Everything is completely different in Baku and the influence of the capital city seems to be slowly moving outwards in Mercedes Benzes and Land Rovers. Maybe this sounds too dramatic. I can go to the department store if I want to and I go to the internet cafe out of necessity. I’d also gone to the bazaar three times before anyone hinted I shouldn’t. There are no hard rules-no restaurant is going to kick you out-it’s more about community opinion. As a new community member I want to show respect for traditions and gain trust from my neighbors. But I also don’t mind showing that nothing bad happens if girls use the internet!
Oh yeah, and when people invite me to do things they add, “If your husband says its ok.” Teehee!
So exhausted readers, we’ll leave it at that for now. Thanks to others who have also contributed questions for which we are cooking up fabulous answers!
Or, what is just the same that you didn't expect to be so similar?
From: Sara B. - Portland, ME
Mathias:
Every morning, after we wake up, we light the peз. We do this because it is unsafe to keep it on while we sleep. This has less to do with the fire becoming unruly, and more to do with the fact our gas supply is often cut off. If we were to keep the line open, and then lose the supply, our fire would go out. However, the line would remain open. If the powers that be would decide to turn the gas back on, it would fill our room without us knowing. Thus, every night, or anytime we leave the house, we turn the gas off and every morning, or every time we return, we turn it back on, relighting the fire.
For breakfast, I eat a cup of oatmeal, sweetened with a spoonful of splenda; paired with a cup of instant ‘MacCoffee.’ In America, I eat bacon for breakfast. Don’t get a whole lot of Bacon here. Ha ha. I love/miss bacon.
Following breakfast, I walk 10 minutes to school. By the time I get within sight of school, I usually have two or three students walking with me. As I enter the main complex, I gain another 5 or so, each wanting to try out the latest English phrase. Inside the school is just as crazy, with kids running everywhere. Most students greet me with a “Hello” or “Good Morning.” It kind of makes me feel like a big deal... until they say something in really basic Azerbaijani and I remember just how cool I am. As in: “What did you just say?”, “Can you repeat that?”, “I am not sure what you just said, but sure, I too like Ice Dancing.” (Quick Ice Dancing note: One of our best friends here, a PCV from the Detroit, MI area, dated/went to prom with the 2008 Olympic Silver Medalist in Ice Dancing... Awesome!) I then shuffle by the male teachers smoking in the hall way, shake all the hands I can grab, say my “Hellos” or “Good Mornings” in Azerbaijani, glance at the female teachers in the teachers’ room, and head to whichever classroom holds my first lesson. Similar to Japan, students stay in the same classroom while teachers rotate between periods.
During class, I focus my part of the lesson on pronunciation, which is fun because all of the words are written phonetically in British English... it is a cruel world students, cruel. Thus, the students learn how to speak with an American accent, while studying British Grammar (“I have got a copybook”) in text books put out by the Azerbaijani government. My counterparts are very competent in English Grammar and I am constantly impressed by their ability to translate, anything and everything, from English to Azerbaijani, on the spot. Not that I can tell if they right, but they sure sell it either way. Classes are 45 minutes long and I teach no more than four a day.
Most of my work is done by 12:10pm. However, I am involved in other projects, such as: English conversation clubs, AZ youth softball, the Azerbaijani Boys Leadership Experience (ABLE) and the Volunteer Advisory Committee. Not that they do too much for my afternoons, but on occasion they push some work my way.
Outside of that, I am reading way more than usual. In the last two weeks, I have read The Great Book of Amber and Eragon, twice. “Anime あにめExpo 2009” here I come! I also listen to a lot of music and try to lesson plan. Life is pretty good. Emma is making fun of me for the last paragraph. That’s it.
Emma:
Well dragging us back from “how Mathias is continuing his mission to rule the world” to things that are different....
Also different is that once I get home, I stay home. This is for a couple reasons. First, it’s too much of a hassle to change back into appropriate street clothes. Also, there isn’t really anywhere I can go. Women are not supposed to go to restaurants, coffee shops, or internet cafes. And recently I was told that because I look young and could be viewed as a “girl” I really shouldn’t even go to the bazaar for food. Men and boys are supposed to buy meat and make runs for small purchases. Mothers make the Bazaar runs and girls are supposed to go from school to home. At least that’s how it seems here; people have told me that Şamaxı is a conservative town. Everything is completely different in Baku and the influence of the capital city seems to be slowly moving outwards in Mercedes Benzes and Land Rovers. Maybe this sounds too dramatic. I can go to the department store if I want to and I go to the internet cafe out of necessity. I’d also gone to the bazaar three times before anyone hinted I shouldn’t. There are no hard rules-no restaurant is going to kick you out-it’s more about community opinion. As a new community member I want to show respect for traditions and gain trust from my neighbors. But I also don’t mind showing that nothing bad happens if girls use the internet!
Oh yeah, and when people invite me to do things they add, “If your husband says its ok.” Teehee!
So exhausted readers, we’ll leave it at that for now. Thanks to others who have also contributed questions for which we are cooking up fabulous answers!
Saturday, October 4, 2008
1 1/2 weeks in Azerbaijan
For those of you who have dutifully checked our blog for updates, my apologies. I was very wrong in assuming that we would have semi-regular Internet access, ha ha ha.
So Emma and I were in Philly from the 20th-22nd. We stayed at the University City Sheraton which is basically on the campus of U Penn. We had a day and a half of pre-departure prep as well as the opportunity to visit with Emma's Munch side of the family. Thanks to Aunt Phe for making Beef Brisket! It was spectacular!
So Monday the 22nd we took a bus from Philly to JFK (nice connection to the Peace Corps) and caught an 8 hour flight to Frankfurt. In Frankfurt we took a connection to Baku, subsequently arriving in Azerbaijan sometime after 9pm on the 23rd.
The first few days were spent at a European style hotel called Aquapark. It is a resort/hotel/sports complex that is frequented during the summer and evidently holds conferences during the fall/winter. Emma and I had our own room which was very nice. Each day we would sit through a variety of sessions on Peace Corps Policy and Azerbaijani Language. The policy sessions were alright and the language classes were awesome. It made moving to our host family pretty easy. Having experienced a similar host family meeting, I can say without a doubt that the Peace Corps knows what they are doing. Albeit when we finally left the hotel to meet our host families, Emma and I were dropped off about 3 block away from our actual host home. Our AWESOME host father, and I mean that, met us with a taxi and escorted us to the house. As for our getting off the bus to met our host father I would like to relay a special moment ..
I was in charge of taking all of the bags off the bus, Emma was not allowed to do so, our bus driver was pretty adamant about this. So as I set down the last bag I accidentally stepped on something. The next line is absolutely true.
Mathias, returning to the bus... "Well good news is I have all the bags off the bus, bad news is I am pretty sure I just stepped on a goats ear."
So yeah, they dropped us off at a butcher shop. Nothing too out of the ordinary minus the small bits of animal that may or may not have been tossed out from the butchers shop... call it a hunch.
So the first meeting with our host family went very well. We have a host father and mother, two host brothers and one host sister. The boys are 20 and 16 while the sister is 21. The entire family is exceptionally kind. Our host father, Aydin, has been absolutely wonderful. His patience and kindness are pretty unbelievable. When we eat he goes through all of the food, naming each item and repeating them numerous times until we sort of pronounce them correctly. We was an auto mechanic but has retired. Our host mother is a seamstress, her shop our kitchen. Our host sister is a beautician, her shop our foyer. The family seems to be very close and we have been lucky enough to meet most if not all of the aunts and uncles.
Emma and I have our own room. We have two twin beds pushed together to make a king, which is bigger than what we had in Belleville. We have a wardrobe,a folding table/desk, two chairs and a coat rack, that our host mother beat into the wall soon after our arrival, ha ha.
I walk about 20 minutes to school and Emma walks/takes the bus about 20 as well. When we get to the town's (Saray) main street, Emma goes left and I go right. The time to and from school is really nice. It is really one of the only times that I get to be alone. Alone time is very nice, very nice, ha ha. Really it is just a great time for me to collect my thoughts and listen to music.
We both have Azerbaijani language class from 9am-1pm. Then we have an hour break and usually the afternoons are spent traveling to and from meetings with our sector groups. I am Teaching English as a Foreign Language and Emma is in Youth Development. That means we rarely spend "class time" together. It also means that Emma's language level is going to have to be much higher than mine. This is because she will be out in the community without an Azerbaijani English teacher backing her up. As of right now she seems to be doing great. Our host family was initially convinced that she knew tons of Azerbaijani thus pulling her into the room whenever they had to ask me questions... I loved that, yeah. Ha ha ha. Now they feel alright talking to me without Emma so that is good. Ha ha.
Also, I have had a bit of stomach sickness but that is to be expected. Other than that (and that is really nothing) everything has been great. Hope everyone is great!
Love
Mathias
PS.
I can text to America but only to TMobile or ATT phones, so if you have either service please send me an email me and I will send you the number.
So Emma and I were in Philly from the 20th-22nd. We stayed at the University City Sheraton which is basically on the campus of U Penn. We had a day and a half of pre-departure prep as well as the opportunity to visit with Emma's Munch side of the family. Thanks to Aunt Phe for making Beef Brisket! It was spectacular!
So Monday the 22nd we took a bus from Philly to JFK (nice connection to the Peace Corps) and caught an 8 hour flight to Frankfurt. In Frankfurt we took a connection to Baku, subsequently arriving in Azerbaijan sometime after 9pm on the 23rd.
The first few days were spent at a European style hotel called Aquapark. It is a resort/hotel/sports complex that is frequented during the summer and evidently holds conferences during the fall/winter. Emma and I had our own room which was very nice. Each day we would sit through a variety of sessions on Peace Corps Policy and Azerbaijani Language. The policy sessions were alright and the language classes were awesome. It made moving to our host family pretty easy. Having experienced a similar host family meeting, I can say without a doubt that the Peace Corps knows what they are doing. Albeit when we finally left the hotel to meet our host families, Emma and I were dropped off about 3 block away from our actual host home. Our AWESOME host father, and I mean that, met us with a taxi and escorted us to the house. As for our getting off the bus to met our host father I would like to relay a special moment ..
I was in charge of taking all of the bags off the bus, Emma was not allowed to do so, our bus driver was pretty adamant about this. So as I set down the last bag I accidentally stepped on something. The next line is absolutely true.
Mathias, returning to the bus... "Well good news is I have all the bags off the bus, bad news is I am pretty sure I just stepped on a goats ear."
So yeah, they dropped us off at a butcher shop. Nothing too out of the ordinary minus the small bits of animal that may or may not have been tossed out from the butchers shop... call it a hunch.
So the first meeting with our host family went very well. We have a host father and mother, two host brothers and one host sister. The boys are 20 and 16 while the sister is 21. The entire family is exceptionally kind. Our host father, Aydin, has been absolutely wonderful. His patience and kindness are pretty unbelievable. When we eat he goes through all of the food, naming each item and repeating them numerous times until we sort of pronounce them correctly. We was an auto mechanic but has retired. Our host mother is a seamstress, her shop our kitchen. Our host sister is a beautician, her shop our foyer. The family seems to be very close and we have been lucky enough to meet most if not all of the aunts and uncles.
Emma and I have our own room. We have two twin beds pushed together to make a king, which is bigger than what we had in Belleville. We have a wardrobe,a folding table/desk, two chairs and a coat rack, that our host mother beat into the wall soon after our arrival, ha ha.
I walk about 20 minutes to school and Emma walks/takes the bus about 20 as well. When we get to the town's (Saray) main street, Emma goes left and I go right. The time to and from school is really nice. It is really one of the only times that I get to be alone. Alone time is very nice, very nice, ha ha. Really it is just a great time for me to collect my thoughts and listen to music.
We both have Azerbaijani language class from 9am-1pm. Then we have an hour break and usually the afternoons are spent traveling to and from meetings with our sector groups. I am Teaching English as a Foreign Language and Emma is in Youth Development. That means we rarely spend "class time" together. It also means that Emma's language level is going to have to be much higher than mine. This is because she will be out in the community without an Azerbaijani English teacher backing her up. As of right now she seems to be doing great. Our host family was initially convinced that she knew tons of Azerbaijani thus pulling her into the room whenever they had to ask me questions... I loved that, yeah. Ha ha ha. Now they feel alright talking to me without Emma so that is good. Ha ha.
Also, I have had a bit of stomach sickness but that is to be expected. Other than that (and that is really nothing) everything has been great. Hope everyone is great!
Love
Mathias
PS.
I can text to America but only to TMobile or ATT phones, so if you have either service please send me an email me and I will send you the number.
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